Clar.me

The Imperfections of Reality

This past year, my life has been pretty amazing. My relationship with my mom couldn’t have been better, I had just started going out with the most amazing guy, my grades were getting better, I began to gain some much-needed self esteem – my life had seemed pretty close to perfect.

There were times that I had even considered the possibility of maybe being the happiest girl – I’m not even exaggerating. I was just that happy.

It’s made me so optimistic (at least compared to my old self). I didn’t get annoyed with things that used to irritate me. I didn’t look at other people and wish I had their looks, possessions or achievements. I didn’t look down on myself all the time.

While my close to perfect life is still pretty much the same, a lot of things have changed.

I’m still close to my mom, actually, extremely close to my mom. I couldn’t be happier with my relationship with my parents, and that’s probably more than most people can say.

I’m more in love with my boyfriend than I’ve ever been, though I’m starting to experience the downside of being in a relationship. We never fight, but, of course, we do have our misunderstandings. Recently, though, all the stress has kind of been taking over. Of course, having little disputes here and there is normal, though I kind of miss being abnormal. I’m sure it’s not nearly bad as my mind is exaggerating it to be, but I guess I got used to such a perfect relationship. He’s still the most amazing person I ever met, we still don’t fight and we definitely don’t love each other any less, so what’s there to complain about?

The school’s new curriculum, which is also the main source of stress, has definitely affected my grades. I’ve already ranted about this before, so I don’t think there’s a need for me to waste time complaining about it again.

I’m still much more confident in myself than I was before, though there have definitely been lapses in that confidence recently.

I’m also almost always in a bad mood now. There are just those days wherein I tend to be a bit of a pessimist. I’m sure it’s just the stress.

Despite these kinds of things, I know I should be grateful. These are just very tiny things. I can’t expect my life to be “perfect” forever. I probably sound really bitchy in this post, complaining about such small problems when in reality I’m still much more fortunate than most. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still extremely grateful, and I’m still so happy with how my life has turned out. I’m just a bit scared of this happiness going away. It’s a pretty stupid fear, I know, so I try not to think about it. I’m happy now, and that’s all that matters.

Wow i love the new layout. It’s soo amazing!!! Great job. :D
Nice to hear things are going great for you. :)
It’s alright to complain, we won’t judge you. :D

I don’t even bring up my ipod anymore. If she doesn’t like my crap them forget her.

Comment by Isi • November 14, 2010 • 5:43 pm

I used to feel the same way
I was in love and working and nothing could go wrong
But for me, everything went wrong eventually
Not that im trying to worry you or anything
Hey if things are well live it out until they arent so great anymore
I stopped questioning when good things happen cause for me its quite rare.

I hate change
Changing of curriculum
Changing of rules.
Just hate it
I rebel :D

(I fixed the commenting sort of .. I just added a confirm box)

Comment by Shakima • November 14, 2010 • 9:43 pm

I love this layout, Clarisse! :D It looks great. They really do say that opposites attract & it is better that you’re with someone who is a bit different from you, but not 100% different that you clash with things that are important to you such as political/religious ideologies or how you’d raise children/not have any. That kind of thing. haha.

Well anyway, yeah, my boyfriend is quite the opposite of me & just like you mentioned, we compliment each others’ strengths & weaknesses.

Aw this was a cute post & I can relate it to it very much. Although I’ve always had a great relationship with my parents, I can very much relate to your relationship with your boyfriend.

It’s nice to hear that you really care about having a better relationship with your parents. I stumble across a lot of blogs about how the author hates their parents, blah blah blah, & complain all the time about them when it seems that they’re well deserving of the scolding they received. Sigh, well I’m very very happy for you. :) Like you said before, perfect is kind of boring & I’m sure the tiny misunderstandings between you & your boyfriend add a little spice to your life.

Don’t stress out too much over school. I know we all do, but just take a break from it by sitting back & breatheeee. Just relax. Meditate if you have to!

Comment by Tiff • November 16, 2010 • 3:29 am

I love my boyfriend so much, but relationships definitely aren’t easy. We have been through so much stuff. Relationships will always have downsides, but it’s the upsides that make it worth it. :)

Comment by Britney • November 16, 2010 • 8:05 am

Happiness is a wonderful thing to have. :) I know sometimes it might feel like it could disappear easily but at least you recognise it when it’s here. When I’m in a good mood I make the most of it. I know it might sound weird but at times I also contain it within so I can “save it” for later! This usually happens when I’m super duper excited about something, hehe.

I wish I was as close to my mother as you are. :( We aren’t that close, but we do talk and she is a wonderful mother. I don’t get to talk to her as much as I’d like to because she’s so busy and so am I.

Relationships will always have their ups and downs but the love will always win over. ^^

Comment by Georgina • November 16, 2010 • 8:29 pm

I understand what you’re talking about. I’m in a much happier place now than I have been for a long time but I am also a lot more stressed. I don’t feel as down and depressed as I have before but the stress really gets to me. I’m never sure if I’m feeling better just because I don’t have time to ponder feeling down.

It’s great that you’re in such a great place, in spite of stress. Good relationships do wonders for happiness. You’re a lucky person. I wouldn’t worry too much with your boyfriend. If it’s meant to be it will all work out.

I always think Bohemian Rhapsody is amazing because it’s very orchestral-oriented yet it’s still very much a mainstream rock song. Queen were fantastic musicians though.

I love randomness, it cheers me up sometimes.

Comment by Aileen • November 17, 2010 • 5:19 am

I kind of understand how you feel with this. The same thing sort of happens to me. Things get insanely great, I’m really happy, the works. And then I get scared that things will change and they actually do. Right now I’m kind of in one of those “Everything sucks” stages, unfortunately. :/

My mom and I used to be pretty close, but now we’re sort of drifting because I moved out. She’s not mad at me for moving out or anything, but I see her a lot less. I’m really glad you have a great relationship with your mom, though. :)

Everything will be fine. Just think of all the reasons you have to be happy. :D

Comment by Kendra • November 18, 2010 • 3:29 am

I haven’t checked anyone else’s site in over a week, so I’m not sure if this layout is as new to you as it is to me, but it looks GREAT. The footer caught my eye.

I’m glad that life’s been amazing for you. I’m not looking to have a relationship now, but I still have my friends. My relationship with my mom isn’t as good as yours, but I’m getting there. It’s all about progression.
I always feel worried whenever things are going great for me. I’m scared of what will happen with the downfall arrives.

Comment by Nugget • November 21, 2010 • 1:58 am

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