Clar.me

“She can do so much better.”

I don’t know how many times I was just sitting down, having a good conversation with a friend, when suddenly someone comes up and she says something like, “Oh, he’s with ________ right? She can do so much better than him.” At the same time, there are also a lot of people see me with my boyfriend and just point-blank, to his face, say, “She’s too good for you. Clarisse! Leave him!” I know that they’re just jokes and shouldn’t be taken seriously, so I just smile and laugh, but I honestly just find it so insensitive. They think they’re doing me a favor by ‘complimenting’ me, when in reality they aren’t.

It’s not like a person’s grades, looks or hobbies are have any effect on how bad or good your relationship’s going to be. Some tend to fixate so much on the most insignificant little details that they end up not caring about the things that really matter. High grades, nice hair and guitar skills aren’t going to make any guy, or girl for that matter, any less of an asshole than he or she already is.

I know it’s natural for us to be a bit closed-minded sometimes and only see things from our point of view. The truth is, human beings are much more complex than that. There can never be just one side to a story. Each one of us have different perspectives, our own way of looking at things. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine – we aren’t mind readers, after all. We just have to learn to respect others’ decisions and try to see their situation through their eyes.

I agree. The opposite happens with my friends, though, where they think because some guy has all these cool things that he’s a good guy, when he’s really just some douche. Grades are really important at my school and if you’re not in the top 20, people look down on you. They don’t look past the superficial things.

Comment by Trisha • February 8, 2011 • 10:25 pm

I hate this too. Why do people think they know more about your relationship than you do? Why are people considered ‘out of someones league’ if they like/love each other what does it matter?

Comment by Kalliste • February 9, 2011 • 1:32 am

This really bothers me as well. In high school they had the perfect perceptions of people’s relationships, labelling them ‘high school sweethearts’ and whatnot, and in the end they broke up. It also goes to show that people can be wrong about anything when they judge on what they see. No one saw that this couple were not remotely interested in each other anymore and just wanted the status.

I also find it insensitive when people make those comments towards me. I used to have a boyfriend who was younger than me and people told me he was not going to grow up and stop being a jerk but he was nice to me and our relationship worked at the time. People need to stop judging on face value… heck, I thought James was a loser before we even became friends. We will always judge but when it comes to relationships we may not know every side of everything.

Comment by Georgina • February 9, 2011 • 5:11 am

I agree. And I honestly admit of being one of those people who THINK that “she’s too good for him” or other way around. I don’t say it outloud though, not about my friends at least. I guess the fact is, because I am single, I am intrequed by couples walking by and watching how their relationships seems to be. Like, I might wonder why a very kind, down-to-earth guy is together with a girl who obviously is very high maintenance “fake hair & eyelashes” kind of girl who puts him down ever chance she has. I just wonder about these things. But yup, love is never simple.

Comment by Shiri • February 9, 2011 • 2:40 pm

This is so true. I find it so astounding that one person assumes the right to judge who is worthy of another human being. And who is out of “league” or whatnot. So… silly.

Love is never simple; you’re right about that.

Ahaha, I never said I was good with plants either. I’ve killed them more times than I can count on my fingers AND toes. xD But thanks!

Comment by Marigold • February 10, 2011 • 6:23 am

I really like this layout!

I totally know what you mean, but I guess it comes naturally espeically from friends. I remember when i had a boyfriend everyone used to say that to me jokingly of course… I didn’t take it seriously even though it was kinda mean.

I get what you mean though it isn’t about good grades, looks etc that make a good relationship. :)

Great read! Thanks xx

Comment by Pauline • February 12, 2011 • 6:56 pm

Prejudice makes me cringe because I know that it will always exist everywhere.
Everyone definitely has different perceptions, and sometimes it’s hard for people to communicate with each other because of it. Simplicity in life is overrated.

Comment by Nugget • February 12, 2011 • 11:38 pm

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