Clar.me

Relationships

Relationships have a huge effect on us. What else would explain how we always long for our parents’ affection? How we constantly seek our peers’ approval? How we secretly fear a life of loneliness? It’s crazy how much we obsess about what other people think about us or how much attention we get, even if it makes no sense for it to matter that much. It’s completely natural for us, as humans, to give so much importance to the relationships in our life.

This past year or so, several connections of mine have changed, mostly for the better, not to say that there weren’t a few bittersweet moments here and there as well.

I’ve taken my relationships with family and friends (and more-than-friends) for granted in the past and inevitably will in the future as well. I’ve learned from my mistakes, though I’m still finding it hard not to repeat them over and over, despite all the constant nagging from my conscience telling me that I’m doing things wrong. I’m still in the process of learning, and the lessons are just starting to sink in.

The most important thing I’ve learned, however, is that pride can blind you. It prevents you from looking through perspectives other than your own. Sometimes you need to swallow that pride and realize that you can’t always be right. You have to get off your high horse and look at things rationally, realize that other people can be right too.

I don’t really think that it’s the relationships that define us… That’s like letting your friends define who you are, and I don’t think of that as the definition of myself. I think that it’s the way we act around different people that makes us who we are.

It’s all about the art of communication and perception, which is an interesting – yet dangerous – college course to take. You’ll either learn from it and be kind to those who haven’t taken the course before – or you’ll learn from it and realize that it should be a required high school class because they don’t communicate “properly”, haha.

Clarisse

I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant that the relationships have this huge effect on us; even if it’s hard to understand why we care so much about what other people think of us, it does. Actually, I’m having a hard time explaining.

I might edit this post a bit. Define doesn’t seem like the right word.

Comment by Liz • July 1, 2011 • 2:29 pm

that’s good to know that you’re in good terms most of the time with your fam and friends now. Yes, sometimes we need to control ourselves, just give in and swallow that prdie as you say. It saves relationships. ;)

Comment by Sandra • July 2, 2011 • 11:21 am

I find that a lot of people are afraid to be wrong, and are often arrogant about their own opinions – to put it really bluntly. A lot of the time, not being open-minded in a relationship can bruise it. In a relationship sometimes you have to agree to disagree, and know that in any relationship, you will not always agree or get along. I believe that part of a relationship is tolerating each other. Sometimes simply accepting differences is all it takes to get a good conversation going, to have a good time together, and to truly appreciate not only each other but the world around you.

I’ve felt saddened when relationships end. Even when they don’t end, and when we don’t talk for periods of time because we have other commitments, I think about the people that matter and the difference they’ve made in my life. I think it is human nature to sometimes take people for granted.

Comment by Georgina • July 3, 2011 • 8:21 am

This is such an awesome blog, if i could quote this all. :)

I agree, relationships are important. Especially Family relationships, I find the the most important and i know if that relationship were to break as in really break then life would be hard. Since family is what most of us depend on.

Comment by pauline • July 4, 2011 • 4:45 am

I agree, relationships does have a big affect on us. But even more our first relationships can shape how we conduct relationships later in life. I’m talking about the ones with parents, siblings and families. I wish it wasn’t that way for me, since most of my family weren’t the ones to have imprints from.
It is so advantageous to learn about our pride as early as possible. It saves a lot of embarrassment from later.

Comment by Cami • July 4, 2011 • 5:23 am

Yes. Relationships mean so much to us that we always think of what they will say if we do this and that just because we’re afraid to disappoint and lose them. I guess that’s okay (in a way) but we should also learn how to stand up for what we believe is best for us.

Pride, yeah, it damages a relationship if we have too much of it.

Comment by Tricia • July 4, 2011 • 2:26 pm

I have made a conscious effort to not have relationships that consist of more then friends at this point in time, they do my head in. But I agree with the pride comment. My ex Sean is like that … Never wrong and if you confront him on the issue he’ll just cut contact and disappear and then come back when he feels like it … He’s doing this to me now accept I am not buying into it anymore. He’s lost me when I know that was not what his pride intended.

Comment by sage • July 5, 2011 • 8:14 pm

I hope that you learned from your mistakes. I fear lonliness too lol I think everyone does too. However I use to have that fear but now I don’t really care. As long as I do not worry about being lonely, i won;t be lonely. and I know that people can’t be invited everywhere. Anyway I think pride plays a big role too. I think if people didn’t judge, then eeryone could be friends. That is what is holding back friendships. If everyone had an open mind, I believe life would be happier and better :D

Comment by Tiffany • July 6, 2011 • 12:30 am

I pretty much agree with you. Relationships mean a lot to us, and can basically take over your life. Not the people persay, but how we want to be seen by them. I have come to a point in my life where I am just starting not to care so much. I am trying to do things that make me happy, because I don’t think I should let others control that aspect of my life. :P But I do agree with the pride bit too. Sometimes we can get lost in our pride, and we have to let it go. I’ve been working on this, and I feel like I’m making pretty big strides. I feel happier now that I’ve let go of some pride, because it makes others happier as well. :)
—
I know. I miss grade school. *tear* I don’t even want to think that a year from now I’ll be an adult, in college. D:
That’s good! I”m sure you’ll make it into that school. :D Just believe in yourself. :) But it is a frightening thing! I’m afraid of it too. xP

Thank you! :D
—
By the way, I feel like I may have replied to that comment already. Either that, or complete dejavu. :/ If I have, just ignore above comment (the bit above the —). My memory is just not reliable. xD

Comment by Karlee • July 6, 2011 • 2:37 pm

I can totally relate to this. I’ve let my pride take over my decisions which resulted to losing my fiance. And now, I don’t know how to get him back. Although we have been apart for a while, I still can’t help but wonder how his life is . . .

Comment by Nagashiko • July 6, 2011 • 7:34 pm

That last chapter pretty much sums it up for me. Thank you :)

Comment by Shiri • July 7, 2011 • 2:43 am

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