Clar.me

Dear Diary

I just read all my old diaries from when I was around 6 to 11 years old, and it brought back a lot of memories. It’s amazing how so many things have changed over the years.

I wanted to be so many things then. I wanted to be a popstar. I wanted to be a song writer. I even wanted to be a fashion designer for a while. I still love to sing. There’s no denying it. But music is a hobby for me, not a career. Remnants of my old passions can be found hiding in the corners of my room though I would hate for anyone to see those. My old songs and my old ‘designs’ – they’re nothing less than an embarrassment for me now (no offense to past me).

It’s amazing how trivial things like lost toys and “going ‘slip, bump, bump’” down the stairs were such a big deal to me then, when they’re nothing compared to my problems now. You should’ve seen how many times I wrote, mourning the deaths of the ladybugs Mcrawly and Msleepy, as well as the sudden disappearance of their brother, Mcreepy.

Back then, I felt the constant need to write about everything. By everything, I really do mean everything. For example:

Dear Diary,
I’m sorry but I forgot to tell you my watch ran out of batteries

Also, I was oddly specific:

Dear Diary,
I just woke up. 6:15. I’m in my room, listening to “So Yesterday” by Hilary Duff. But really in my room. Not my brother’s room.

It definitely didn’t help that my mom gave me a watch for my 9th birthday.

I would tell you more about the things I read, but, naturally, a lot of them are a bit personal, being written in a diary and all. “Sikrets are sikrets”, as my 6 year old self would say.

I look back through my old diaries about once a year, when I’m cleaning my room. It’s so embarrassing I don’t know why I bothered to keep them. But I wrote everything. I remember reading an entry I wrote in dark green pen with a lot of profanity; I was angry at the fact that some visitors were over and were going to sleep in my room so I’d have to sleep elsewhere. That really bothered me. :P

I even gave my diary a name, I can’t remember what it was… I think it was Dahlia. She was like a real friend. ;) Most of my entries were really very personal. A lot of entries were about crushes. I think that’s why it’s embarrassing.

Since I don’t have many friends (admittedly…) I don’t really “need” Facebook. My friends keep in contact with me in other ways! :) I’m not too bothered by it.

If I don’t hear from you soon I hope you have a good Christmas and a wonderful start to 2011! <33

Comment by Georgina • December 23, 2010 • 9:56 pm

Wow, thats really touching. I used to have a diary as well. I didn’t write much just the usual “I went out to the mall and bought some ice cream and I saw a cat.” or the “I have a crush on this boy at school” thing ahaha.

I wasn’t as a diary person as you or my sister. My sister was obbessed. She wrote pages for each day, she never let me read them but I took a few sneak peeps. HAha.

Comment by Pauline • December 24, 2010 • 1:23 am

I have a ton of diaries from when I was very young. I always started on a new one after a couple of months. I didn’t actually write that many secrets in them…My entries were mainly pointless stuff. I remember getting this diary set that came with a lockable box (made of CARDBOARD), and it was girly, glittery, and pretty. Then I gave up on it after less than a year. Now I keep my art supplies in the box, and the diary is…somewhere. Yeah, I lost it.

It would be too embarrassing if someone else found my old diaries and read them. I think everyone who had kept diaries at a very young age would be embarrassing. I sounded way too immature and cheesy back then.

Comment by Nugget • December 24, 2010 • 10:21 am

I’ve never actually had a book diary, just web ones. Although a couple days ago (last month lol) I found a notebook where i used write crap and in and i really couldn’t believe that I wrote those. It’s weird.

Comment by Isi • December 24, 2010 • 9:14 pm

I literally LOLed at the watch entry. I often think back to being a kid, and it’s really a shame that life takes such a crazy turn after you hit a certain age. I’m not saying it would be awesome if people lived like children their entire lives, but it would be nice if life didn’t become so stressful and, well, hard.

I remember when I took everything that people said seriously and how it really stuck with me, even to this day. Just the other day I was sleeping over at my friends house and we were laughing like crazy. I immediately thought of my grandma telling me “Stop laughing so much, you’ll piss in bed!” when I would sleep at her house. That’s so obviously wrong scientifically, but as a kid, that was something I thought was important to worry about. Now I have to worry about grades and sleep and gas money. It sucks. D:

Happy holidays, Clarisse!

Comment by Gabi • December 25, 2010 • 6:36 am

Aw I’m glad that you like my new layout! :D What kind of layout are you going to make for your friend? For inspiration, I generally look at themes from elegantthemes.com & think of a more simplified look ahaha or um googling “top black wordpress themes” & then just..amazing collections of beautiful black wordpress themes unfold.

You wrote me such a sweet comment! Thank you. :) & I hope that if you do the exercise, you’ll figure out what your purpose in life is. :) A few people have already done it & told me what they found their purpose to be. Isi claims that hers is to be loved & have someone love her in return. :) Then another girl, Chelsey, said that hers is to be a mother. I think as she grows older, she said she’s really young, that it will evolve to something more than to become a mother, but to be the very best mother that will give her children all the tools to succeed.

So if you do the exercise, don’t just think of future professions, think of anything & everything that would make you happy.

Good luck to you too. :) I haven’t done it yet, but I will soon. :D

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Aw how cute, I can definitely relate to you in this blog because I used to want to be everything you wanted to be & kept a diary too. hahaha. I had several!

ahahaha omg I laughed out loud at this blog. Your batteries ran out..oh goodness that is just way too hilarious. I like that you had to make sure your diary knew that you were in your room & not your brother’s.

Sikrits are sikrits! My grammar/spelling was pretty bad back in the day..oh goodness. You’re such a crack-up! hahahaha

Comment by Tiff • December 28, 2010 • 4:46 pm

I used to own a diary myself, but it got lost in my house or got throw away. I remember what I would write in there, would be stupid stuff. Like once I remember writing about the time when I forgot to enter lunch money into my account. Normally they would give you a yellow slip right before you ran out, and that time they hadn’t. So that day as I was buying lunch, my balance was $0 and I was without lunch that day. Anyways, the diary entry was something like “I hate the lunch lady!!! She made me hungry!!! I hope that old fatty dies!!” Or something in that manner. XD

Oh how I wish I still had that diary… :S

Oh no problem! This comment is a little late too…. only like a *cough* month, you know? xP

Comment by Anna • December 30, 2010 • 6:04 am

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