How I Comfort My Friends

Jan 22

For some people, it’s easy to comfort their friends – constantly offering hugs, a shoulder to cry on, or whatever else their friend may need, because it’s simply in their nature.

I’m definitely not one of those people.

Sure, I’ll distort my face so that it may express anger, worry, confusion, sadness or whatever emotion I deem appropriate for the situation. Sure, I’ll find some way to express the chosen emotion through my words. But, all of it will be carefully calculated. None of it ever just comes naturally.

It’s not like I don’t have a heart. I have a heart. It’s just deeply rooted within myself, so, even though I feel these emotions, they don’t immediately manifest in my outward appearance or actions. I end up having to leave the responsibility of that to my brain, almost all the time.

If you were to come to me with a problem, I would automatically try to find ways in which I can solve a problem, ways in which I can explain the problem, or ways in which I could emphasize that your side of the situation is right and the opposing side is wrong. I won’t, however, automatically hug you. Or ask you how you feel. Or know whether it’s more appropriate to talk or just shut up. For me to engage in what’s considered the “proper protocol” for comforting a distressed friend, I often need to exert a conscious effort into doing so.

I automatically deal with problems with logic. But, usually, people don’t need logic. Usually, they just need a friend – to stay with them, to comfort them, to hug them, and do all the things that don’t come natural to me. I do those things anyway, though I may sometimes (i.e. almost always) do them awkwardly. I do it for my friends.

Filed Under: Thoughts



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