“There’s a sense of fulfillment that comes with being busy.”
This is a sentence taken directly from my last post. Ironically, I’m going to spend the rest of this post contradicting that statement.
Don’t get me wrong – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being busy. It’s actually good to give yourself work to do and short-term goals to work towards. The problem arises when the motivation is wrong. You work on, contribute to or commit to a project or group out of you passion for it; you shouldn’t work simply for the sake of being busy.
Throughout my first year of college, I frequently found myself going into a state wherein I somehow deluded myself into thinking that I could find fulfillment in work – that being accomplished was equivalent to being busy. Subconsciously, I felt that being successful meant always having somewhere important to be or something important to do.
Looking back, the times I was overworking myself were also the times I was at my worst, in almost all aspects. They were the times I wasn’t getting enough sleep. They were the times I was in a snappy mood. They were the times I felt helpless, as if my life was beyond my control.
I’m actually glad I tried out a lot of extra-curricular activities this year. I’ve tested the waters. Next year, though, I need to be much more more selective. At least now I have a better idea the types of non-academic activities I’d want to prioritize, and where my limits are.
For now, I’ll just need to put a conscious effort into reminding myself that my priority is my sanity, not my state of being busy or not.